I awoke with the feelings already swimming around in my head. Feelings of discontent and the awareness that there was something that I very much wanted that up to this point I have not been able to obtain.
I know where this kind of thinking goes . . . self-pity, a determination to get what I'm seeking, and (eventually) the empty frustration of (once again) not having what I want in my grasp. Result? More self-pity, and the cycle begins all over again.
But this morning there was a new twist. A determination that instead of continuing to go down the same hopeless path, I am going to choose to believe God and who He is and what He says.
And the truth I chose to seize upon today in the middle of the pity, the self-effort, and the lonely frustration was this:
"Your love is better than life."
That is what I am choosing to believe today. And that is what I promptly told myself.
My flesh turned up its nose, rolled its eyes, sulked.
Never mind. I told it to myself again. Once again, my feelings gave no response.
But God's Word is truth, and I choose to believe. My feelings, on the other hand, are changeable, barometric, unreliable.
His love is enough. If it's better than life itself, it's certainly better than the elusive hope I hold dear in my heart. And unlike that wispy, unpredictable, shadowy desire, His love it attainable. In fact, it's already mine.